WHERE DO YOU ‘THINK’ YOU SHOULD BE?

Reflecting on our progress is something we all do, but often without knowing it. Whether we’re aware of it or not, several times a day, we measure ourselves against something or someone—be it our past self, others, or some societal ideal. Whether it’s consciously deciding to check in on our progress, or doing so unconsciously, benchmarks are always being set.

These benchmarks could be internal or external, and they serve as a gauge of how well we’re doing. And while there’s a place for both, it's important to consider where we are dropping our anchor.

Think of yourself as a boat on the open water. You can’t always stay anchored in one spot, but sometimes it’s important to drop anchor for stability. It’s the same with how we measure our progress. We need to set benchmarks that reflect where we’re at in the present, but also allow space for growth and movement. Just like the tide, our progress should be flexible and responsive, not static.

When it comes to growth—whether in your finances, personal life, or career—it's often healthier to focus on internal benchmarks. Internal benchmarks are the personal standards you set for yourself based on your own values, goals, and aspirations. It’s not about comparing yourself to others, but recognising how far you’ve come. External benchmarks, such as comparing your progress to others, can be helpful for some light perspective, but they can also leave us feeling frustrated or discouraged if we’re not where we “think” we should be.

Take the world of finance as an example. Let’s say you compare the performance of your portfolio against a stock market index or the success of a financial influencer. These external benchmarks are fine for reference, but if you base your sense of success solely on these metrics, it can lead to disheartenment. For someone like Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos, billions in earnings or the sale of a company might be just another day at the office, but for most people, such achievements would be life-changing. If you measure your progress against others' success, you're missing the bigger picture of your own journey and unique goals.

Now, think back to the global disruption of the COVID-19 pandemic. If we had only relied on our internal benchmarks, we might have felt overwhelmed by the sudden shift in our lives, believing we weren't “performing” as expected. But by considering the external context—the worldwide crisis that affected nearly everyone—we were able to adjust our expectations and take stock of how far we'd come despite the challenges.

And let’s not forget how easy it is to be swayed by the success stories we see around us. Social media, news, and even friends and family can present a curated view of success, leaving out the behind-the-scenes struggles, setbacks, and failures. We tend to see the final achievements, not the daily grind it took to get there, which can distort our own sense of progress. It’s important to remember that behind every success story, there’s usually a lot of hard work and resilience that goes unseen.

So, when it comes to measuring your growth, take a step back and remember that a balanced approach is key. Internal benchmarks—those tied to your own personal goals and values—should be your primary reference point. Use external benchmarks as a lighter guide, but don't let them define your progress. With this approach, you’ll gain a more grounded and fulfilling perspective on how far you’ve come, and more importantly, how far you’re capable of going.