When was the last time you gave yourself the grace to be curious? To pause and ask why, instead of immediately leaping to judgment? In a world that moves fast—where we’re bombarded by expectations, comparisons, and decisions—curiosity is often overshadowed by criticism.

But what if we could flip the script? What if curiosity became our default setting, especially when it comes to our relationship with money and life?

Here’s the problem with criticism: criticism is quick.

It jumps to conclusions. It sees what’s wrong and amplifies it. Whether we’re criticising ourselves for not saving enough, not being a better parent, or not understanding things as well as we think we should, that voice in our head can be harsh. It points out every misstep, every perceived failure, and every gap in our financial knowledge.

And it’s not just self-criticism. We can be quick to criticise others, too. Perhaps you’ve judged a partner for overspending, a friend for being overly frugal, or a colleague for their seemingly extravagant lifestyle. Criticism creates distance—it builds walls instead of bridges.

But here’s the thing: criticism doesn’t fix anything. It keeps us stuck in a cycle of blame and shame, making it nearly impossible to move forward with clarity or purpose.

Curiosity, on the other hand, invites understanding. It pauses, leans in, and asks: Why? Why did I make that decision? Why does my partner approach money this way? Why does this particular financial situation make me feel uneasy?

When we approach life—and money—from a place of curiosity, we shift from judgment to exploration. Instead of berating yourself for overspending last month, you might ask: What was going on for me emotionally? Was I stressed, celebrating, or seeking comfort? Instead of criticising a loved one for their financial choices, you might ask: What values or experiences might be influencing their behaviour?

This shift isn’t about excusing poor decisions or ignoring hard truths. It’s about creating the space to understand those decisions and truths on a deeper level. And when we understand, we can make changes—thoughtful, intentional changes that align with our values and goals.

Curiosity in action

Curiosity can transform how we approach financial planning. For example:

• Instead of saying, “I’m terrible with money,” try asking, “What’s one small thing I can learn or improve today?”
• Instead of thinking, “I’ll never get out of debt,” ask, “What’s the first step I can take to change this?”
• Instead of assuming, “My partner just doesn’t care about saving,” consider asking, “What does financial security mean to them?”

This mindset shift can also extend to our conversations with advisors, mentors, and even our families. A curious approach fosters collaboration and openness, paving the way for better communication and more effective problem-solving.

From criticism to connection

Choosing curiosity over criticism isn’t always easy—it requires slowing down, being present, and letting go of the need to be right. But the rewards are profound. Curiosity doesn’t just improve our financial habits; it strengthens our relationships, builds self-compassion, and helps us navigate life’s challenges with grace.

So the next time you find yourself in a critical spiral—whether it’s about money, work, or life in general—pause. Take a breath. And ask a simple, powerful question: Why? You might be surprised by the answers that follow.

In the end, creating space to be curious isn’t just about improving our financial well-being; it’s about nurturing a mindset that sees opportunities for growth and connection in every moment.

And that, perhaps, is the most valuable investment of all.